Thursday, 28 July 2016

Top of the Pops Fears Two

It's March 11th 1982 and another exciting live edition of Top of the Pops, this time hosted by Simon Bates.


11-3-82: Presenter: Simon Bates

(9) BOW WOW WOW – Go Wild In The Country
Getting the show off to a dodgy t-shirt start is Bow Wow Wow with a song that would go up two more places in the charts.

(4) BANANARAMA & FUN BOY THREE – It Ain’t What You Do It’s The Way That You Do It (video)
The boys were in the studio raring to go, but there was no sign of the girls. So it had to be a video, which featured a little nod perhaps to Ghost Town, but the Fun Boy Three's biggest hit was now at its chart peak.

(6) DEPECHE MODE – See You
Also at its chart peak was this Martin Gore penned tune.

(36) PLUTO – Your Honour
Pluto Shervington had reached the top ten in early 1976 with Dat, and six years later here he was with what would become his second and final top 20 hit when Your Honour peaked at 19. But this was edited out of the 7.30pm slot tonight.

(24) JULIO IGLESIAS – Quiereme Mucho (Yours) (video)
With a song even older than that of the Fun Boy 3, this was the Follow up the "Julio Ingreasyarse" number one from last year, peaking at number 3.

(3) HAIRCUT 100 – Love Plus One
Another song that was now finally at its chart peak.

(25) THE ASSOCIATES – Party Fears Two
It looks like Frank Spencer has replaced Billy Mckenzie this week as lead singer for this tune that was still tumbling towards the top ten.

(12) ADRIAN GURVITZ – Classic
Still not coming down from his attic but this song was now almost at its peak of number 8.

(1) TIGHT FIT – The Lion Sleeps Tonight (video)
Second of three weeks at number one. Tight Fit 'singer' Steve Grant didn't of course actually sing this at all, A chap called Roy Ward did, who, I believe, was inside the lion costume in this video!
Then who should turn up to plug The Kenny Everett Show which was on next, but non other than Sid Snot, who "did not rehearse that last line" regarding Julio Iglesias!

(14) STARSOUND – Stars On Stevie (crowd dancing) (and credits)
This final hit for medley sensations Starsound was now at its peak.

Next week then is March 18th 1982.


  1. Good show this week, and laden with good videos I must say.

    Bananarama & The Fun Boy Three - already at No.4! Nice to see the Fun Boy Three in the studio chatting to Simon Bates just before showing the video. I liked the outdoor junkyard setting if not Lynval's snoring on the pillow in the other scenes. Final time we'll see this one on TOTP, but an excellent top 5 hit it was for them.

    Depeche Mode - that excellent synthesiser hum just really does it for me here, and epitomises the 80s through and through. Love this one more than all the other Depeche Mode hits. Fantastic to get to No.6 already.

    Julio DoubleGlazias - who could not like this one, from a sauve, elegant, handsome man like Julio with more charm than women could handle, bless him.

    The Associates - the best part of this was the cute girl on keyboards and her lovely smile. Oh and the tune was good too.

    Tight Fit - I liked the video, and it seemed that the lead singer needed a well-earned rest at the end of the video by resting his head on Julie Chopper Harris's lap. I would have done the same thing after all that hard work in the jungle and in getting to No.1!

    Starsound - last ever appearance on TOTP in the short career of Starsound, having forever been relegated to playout/end credits ever since the first follow-up to their first hit in 1981.

  2. Dory - I concur in relation to Depeche Mode, who were one of the decade's top electronic outfits, and are these days somewhat underrated.

    The Associates' offering has to be one of my favourite hits of that era - but why on earth did Alan Rankine mime the rhythm guitar part on a 5-string banjo? Canadian keyboardist Professor Martha Ladly (as she is now officially styled) had previously been a member of 'Echo Beach' hitmakers Martha & The Muffins. As I have already mentioned on this forum, she was actually a Muffin, Martha Johnson being the 'Martha' of that outfit.

    I remember my dear Dad buying both Julio's 'Yours' and the Goombay Dance Band's 'Seven Tears' for Mum, to celebrate their Pearl wedding anniversary that year. "Some decent songs in the hit parade at last!" he commented at tha time.

    1. so wellieman, we now start getting to know who bought the "drivel" that you complained about recently!

    2. Ha, ha, yes the first one to 'fess up! My dad only ever bought The Sound of Music for my mum, he was well past the hit parade charts by this time. Let's see who else comes forward owning up to buying the Goombay Dance Band...

  3. Shakey Shakerson29 July 2016 at 01:53

    Oh dear! A live show presented by the ol' Geography Teacher. Expect a lot of clock-watching in the next thirty nine minutes and thirty five seconds then.

    Well that didn't take long did it? Bates' very first act is to glance at his watch and then announce that it's twenty five minutes past seven. That's cos this show is LIVE! Did you know that?

    A new performance from BowWowWow - but pretty similar to all their other performances. The audience seem to be dancing to several other tunes.

    Bates now goes into Mega-Cock-Up mode. Firstly calling BowWowWow 'Fun Boy Three' and then immediately getting Lynval and Neville mixed up. Excellent stuff.

    'It Aint What You Do' on vid next. A decent, atmospheric video, but I haven't the first clue what was going on.

    Depeche Mode have also given up their Thursday night to appear on this live show. (Did you know it was live?) The Ginger one has been ostracised to the far left of stage and as a result gets next to no air time compared to the other three non-ginger ones.

    Another link - another cock-up. 'Seven years ago, after Depeche Mode, this guy almost had a hit." What? Anyway, he's talking about Pluto (named after a planet? - named after a Disney character? Who knows). Only the vaguest of vague memories about this one. And no wonder, it's not really memorable is it?.

    Next up, the Spanish Frank Sinatra who hasn't bothered his arse to make it into town so we get a video of him,some mirrors and a pretty blonde dancer. At one point Julion seems to lose a button on his jacket so uses the thumbs on both hands to keep it closed. Quick thinking, Senor.

    Into Haircut 100 with another cock-up - their album was called Pelican West, not Rest. Very annoying crowd noises over this one too.

    The Associates making a second appearance on the show ( despite Bates' claim that they were new to the show). Despite the almost-constant gazing up at himself on a moniter from McKenzie, this was still highly enjoyable and, by far, the best part of the show.

    'Okay Top Of The Pops - what's happening at number eleven?' says Bates' as we continue the countdown from number 20.

    Adrian Gurvitz. This could be a repeat. It could be a new appearance. You can't really tell. And when I say 'tell', I mean 'care'.

    Bates' finally checks his watch and instantly forgets what his watch says.

    We end this Live show with the top eleven count down, Tight Fit still on top, a toe-curling exchange with Kenny Everett, and the diabolical Stars on Stevie to play us out.

    Okay then - the scores. Musically this was so-so. A number of songs are suffering from over-exposure with only Julio and Pluto being new ones - 5.

    Bates. 1. That's it. If there has been forty minutes of television with as many cock ups as this I'll be surprised. And that includes the Sam Fox/Mick Fleetwood Brit Awards cock-upfest. A broadcasting nadir.

    1. Perhaps Pluto was named after the Greek god...

    2. He was - “That name came straight out of High School and I’ve had it since 1962. We were studying Latin and it was another name for the God of the Underworld.”

  4. Ah, not sure it was a great idea to have Simes present a live show. Anyway, Bow Wow Wow get things off to a lively start, Steve Jones T-shirt and all, though like a lot of acts in this episode they do look swamped by the audience.

    The Fun Boys manage their way through a confusing interview and we see their video, with a sleepwalking theme for reasons best known to themselves.

    Depeche Mode, Dave, tuck your tie in, you'll never make junior accountant looking like that.

    Now, Pluto Shervington's Dat is a minor classic, but this was merely pleasant. Seems appropriate he was wearing a nice cardigan and had trouble remembering the words.

    Julio Iglesias, difficult to work out when he was singing in English and when he was singing in Spanish. Does he really mention Fray Bentos in the lyrics?

    Next up, guess who? Simes has forgotten their name, which is odd because this must be their tenth appearance with this song so far. Maybe we can forgive him when the lights are so low we can barely make out Nick and company.

    Michael Crawford warms up for those Phantom high notes as lead singer of The Associates. Don't recall hearing a banjo on this track, the scamps.

    Adrian Gurvitz, fresh from the salon with his hymn to the loft space that this being the 80s would have been converted into a flat by now.

    Ah, the Tight Fit video, not camp in the slightest. Bit of a letdown to end the show without the No.1 act in the studio, however.

    Then as an awkward bonus, Kenny arrives, though the poor chap has to kiss Simes. How long before Snot Rap?

  5. host: another (pointless) "live" broadcast, and surprise surprise slimy isn't in the same league as david "kid", messing up his first link not once but twice. you can almost imagine him trying to get the fb3 names right in his head beforehand: "terry - white one. but how can i tell the black ones apart? ah, lynval - one wearing shades. neville - one not wearing shades". actually no, that probably wouldn't have happened because i suspect the guy never did any homework before his links! he obviously never watches totp either, otherwise he would have known it wasn't the associates' debut appearance

    bow wow wow: another outing for this does not make it any more likeable to my ears, particularly annabella's shouts and squeals that put even toyah in the shade (if unlike ms wilcox, it sounds like she can actually sing if she puts her mind to it). and it's a particularly poor choice to have them surrounded by a dancing audience as it's clearly not music to dance to, now matter how hard they try to jerk about. and what exactly does the phrase "where snakes in the grass are absolutely free" mean? rather pathetically there is a current version of this band that only features the original bassist (although annabella herself is also still treading the boards, billing herself rather clumsily as "annabella lwin of the original bow wow wow"), which proves it's much better to be a has-been no matter how brief your time in the spotlight, than a never-was...

    fun boy three: from the neck down, bananarama actually look quite contemporary in this video. i like the "batman" style graphics, although i'm not sure what the sonambulistic activity has to do with the lyrics. presumably the fb3 in the darkened vintage car is some kind of anti-tribute to "ghost town"? i love the parody of the then-current trend of lovers putting their names on their respective sides of the car windscreen (i presume terry was called "ted" rather than "tel" as another joke? you see, despite their miserable countenances they're not called the fun boy three for nothing!). also, i notice a couple of them are wearing the girls' tops at the end, which reminds me that i heard a rumour back then that the blonde one in bananarama was a transexual!

    depeche mode: there is really nothing i can say about them that hasn't already been said. so next please...

    pluto: i can only surmise from slimy's incomprehensible intro ("seven years ago after depeche mode" - and there was me thinking they only formed a year or two earlier!) that this tune-free reggae-on-autopilot was re-released for some unfathomable reason?

    julio: another dreadful outdated continental cabaret disco version of an old standard, and this time we get some yodelling to boot. fortunately after this whatever appeal he had in this country wore off. if only he had made an appearance on the same show as robert palmer - they could have swapped places and some probably wouldn't have noticed!

    1. The Bow WoW Wow snakes line was originally "Where sex in the grass is absolutely free" and it was changed in order to get airplay.

    2. The line also alludes to Splendour In The Grass, from a line from William Wordsworth's poem "Ode - Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood":

      What though the radiance which was once so bright,
      Be now for ever taken from my sight,
      Though nothing can bring back the hour,
      Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower.

  6. i was going to say this was a two-parter like the starsound 45, but having checked i found out that the b-side is not more medleys but a dire original instrumental disco effort that despite the title is more star wars than stevie wonder:

    anyway, on with the show:

    haircut 100: is it me, or do they seem rather ill-lit? the sax player finally realises it's a waste of time to haul two of his instruments into the studio with him, although maybe he didn't use the tenor as he was worried some of that falling glitter might go down the bell? oh dear, i hear the strains of "woh-oh! woh-oh!" going on at one point - a good reason not to broadcast live shows. i don't normally look out for mr fairbrass (it wouldn't surprise me if he had something to do with the soulboy cretins' chant) but i couldn't help noticing him at the end in his white dinner jacket. was anyone actually taking notice of "ringers" like him in the audience back then? probably not

    associates: the other main associate alan rankine had saturnine good looks, but always appeared to be happy giving billy and associate associates (martha ladly and michael dempsey, who had both been on the show before in earlier bands) the spotlight. or maybe he's at the back because of embarrassment at being forced to look like some kind of japanese shogun? as for billy's getup: sadly although most of the world thinks of berets and raincoats as personifying gitane-smoking french cool, brits of a certain generation (as angelo points out) will never be able to overcome the spectre of the totally uncool frank spencer!

    adrian gurvitz: despite the schmaltz he's singing, this guy seems determined to stare the camera out as if he's robert de niro in "taxi driver". talking of which, i finally got around to watching that film properly for the first time recently. and despite all the hype and "we're not worthy" acclaim it gets, all i can say is that it's 90 or so wasted minutes of my life that i'll never get back

    tight fit: and now its time for the mane event (sorry). we got a glimpse of this video of the show two or three weeks back, which presumably means it was always intended for steve grant and his chums to front the act rather than being them in once it picked up in popularity? chopper harris has spent a bit more time than usual doing her make-up, but not as long as one of the drummers

    starsound: unlike others here i don't think the stevie impression is too bad. but if they had to include the cod-reggae rhythms of "master blaster" and "isn't she lovely" (that don't really work in this context), they could have at least have linked them together

    1. Did you watch Taxi Driver as a tribute to John Hinckley, who's finally out on parole this week? I still laugh when Travis introduces himself under the rubbish alias Henry Krinkle, but it does sound a bit like Hinckley's name, enough to be worrying.

  7. Did Bates ever get allowed back to another live show after this? Because he shouldn't have been - what a shambles!

    Not much love for Bow Wow Wow on here but as I've said before, I like the song. I thought this was a better performance as well.

    Then the FB3 continuing the grand Pops tradition of turning up for an interview but not actually doing their latest song. Shame we didn't get a repeat of the gangway performance given that we weren't able to see it before.

    Depeche Mode - I like to think that Dave Gahan sitting down at the start like he was in school assembly was a pointed hint that Bates was presenting like a terrible supply teacher who doesn't know that they're doing.
    It probably wasn't though. Oh, and another good song!

    Pluto - It's yet another one that was featured on Ronco's Chart Runners compo and for that reason I like it even though no-one else here seems to. I generally like 'story songs'!

    Julio Iglesias - No ta. I seem to recall that Wogan called this one 'Jaws' when he played it.

    Haircut 100 - Again? I mean, I like the tune but it has been on an awful lot!

    The Associates - Superb song, but this performance wasn't as good as the Yewtreed one, primarily due to Billy constantly looking up at the monitor.

    Tight Fit - Blimey, make-up being applied with a spade to the ladies, was it?!

    Finally, Cuddly Ken - of all the presenters to give a loose cannon like him to talk to, they picked Bates! Of course he was going to be cheeky. Second plug for his show on the Pops now - unsurprising I guess given that they spent big bucks on nabbing him from ITV as I recall.

    1. re: slimy - if you're stupid enough to choose a man who has no interest in pop music whatsoever to host a live pop music programme, then it's going to be a recipe for disaster. the tragedy is that the producer should have known this and used someone like mike read or dickie skinner instead...

    2. Unbelievably, Bates did present at least one other live show later in the year, on 22 July. It didn't look initially as if we would see that on BBC4, as the links on the Beeb's copy are mute, but apparently someone has now given them a VHS copy which they have accepted into their archive, so we may get to see it after all...

    3. I noticed that mention of mute links on Popscene which still seems odd (why would they lose the sound unless a sound engineer hated Slimey so much he did it on purpose).

      NB: A future show includes the mysterious sounding CHAMPAGNE D’ORANGE with 'C’est Seulement Une Wynd Oop'. Is that real or a joke?

    4. It's a mickey-take of Bucks Fizz (champagne and orange juice) and the translation of the title is "It's Only A Wind-Up"!

    5. Yep I got that Arthur but as it's on the April 1st show I didn't know if it was really on the show as a joke or was made by someone on Popscene site as a joke. NB: The record doesn't really exist.

    6. I remember this at the time. John Peel presented it as the Albanian entry for the 1982 Eurovision Song Contest. (Albania didn't actually start entering the contest until 2004)

  8. A strange show this one, the Slime-master in charge, a lot of repeats and a more traditional TOTP crowd with some pogo-ing yobbos, what look like several ambulance workers in uniform, some odd looking people who can't dance with just a smattering of cheerleaders including Mr Fairbrass in a cream tuxedo.

    I knew someone who had the same Seditionaries tee shirt as the guitarist from Bow bow Wow is wearing and he had an even ruder one with gay cowboys on it. This is the third appearance of this and the crowd really help sell it this time even if they overdo the whoops and cheers.

    The Fun Boy Three video filmed, if I'm not mistaken, in the Tottenham Court Road to Centrepoint underpass. I went along there many times when I worked in Soho but I never bumped into Terry (or is it Ted?) and Co. Not a bad effort but not a lot to write home about. Not sure why Slime talks to Lyn and Nev and not Ted. Bit racist.

    Then Depeche Mode again, a good tune but I am getting a little sick of it now. It's Andy's turn to be ignored this time, the camera doesn't focus on him once.

    Pluto with a song I had completely forgotten about. A fair performance spoiled by some git in a white t-shirt mugging at the camera and at one point flicking a V sign. Where's dancer-cum-bouncer Fairbrass when you need him?
    Oh, preening himself in a mirror, fair enough.

    Oh no Julio got in the charts again with more greasy listening. Fast forward time.

    And then Haircuts for the FOURTH time wearing more daft clobber and still looking a bit awkward miming. I have just realised the percussionist Mark Fox is singing "Then I call" before Nick sings the title. Finally I get what the song is about. Or do I?

    Then the Charts including The Associates at number 25. "We'll see them later" says Slime, er yes about 10 seconds later but not for the first time you twit, they were on a few weeks ago (unless Slime was able to predict the Yewtree years which is a bit spooky). In his book about Billy Mackenzie called The Glamour Chase: The Maverick Life of Billy Mackenzie, writer Tom Doyle has clearly seen this clip and because Slimon says it is the band's first TOTP appearance he believes it talking about Billy's fixation with looking at himself in the monitor the implication that he had never seen himself on the telly before. He also said that singer Billy had a crisis about what to wear and opted for the mac and beret as a last minute thing. All well and good except as we know this wasn't the band's debut. Either way it's a still a lot of fun from Alan Rankin's chopstick hair to Martha almost getting whacked in the fizzog by a persistent pennant waver. And even white tee shirt yobbo manages a pogo at the end. A good time is had by all.

    "Then we go from number 20 to 11" says Slimon, wrong again as we only fo to number 12 and Adrian Gurvitz still writing classics in an attic with only his brother and a bottle of home perm fluid for company.

    Then we get the Top 11 and the Tight Fit video which frankly wasn't worth waiting for. In close up, and without his string vest Steve looks like an undernourished Alan Partridge and with about as much sex appeal. The lion is embarrassing and only the girls and the drummers save the show.

    Nice to see Kenny Everett in the studio, even if he is a bit under rehearsed. And she gets to kiss Slimon. Rather him that me.

    And play out with the appalling Stevie medley.It's hard to imagine this got anywhere in the chart at all, it so ham-fisted and badly done.

    1. A music biographer writing a half-arsed tome with little research? Whatever next!

      I was wondering if that book was worth investigating - you've saved me from having to find out, cheers bama!

    2. To be fair I read an early edition of the book which was written 18 years ago, he may have corrected it in later editions. But you'd think the band members/associates he interviewed would remember what happened a would get it right.

  9. i thought the bww guitarist had what looked like a pair of tits on his t-shirt, but thought "surely that wouldn't be allowed?" - i seems i was wrong there. i have a recollection of the "gay cowboy" shirt, but i've probably only ever seen it in photos as opposed to someone bold enough to actually wear it. one controversial a t-shirt i did see worn around this time was the "hitler's world tour" one - on the front was a cartoon of a demented fuhrer leading the charge in a tank, and on the back was a list of "tour dates" i.e. 1938 austria, 1939 poland, etc (with a "cancelled" strip over the russian "gig"). unlike the above seditionaries t-shirts, for some strange reason you can't buy that one on ebay...

    1. Someone in my school had a T-shirt that said "Have a break: have Kwik Krap" arranged as the Kit Kat ad. Must be worth, ooh, about 10p now.

    2. Have you forgotten the "Man About The House" years with Richard O'Sullivan wearing an apron with tits on it? :-)

    3. yes i did arthur! but a: the tits were a drawing rather than a photo, b: it was done for humourous effect, and c: it was the sexy seventies where such exposure was more acceptable...

      like "alias smith & jones" this was another series i loved from my youth that i finally managed to see the complete run in recent years thanks to itv4 (and enjoyed doing so). both richard o'sullivan and sally thomsett have long-since retired (the former through ill-health, and the latter due to having no discernable acting ability!), but the lovely paula wilcox is still active. and (milf/gilf alert) still looking pretty good for her age!

  10. Not a great deal to say about this one that hasn't already been said, especially as most of the songs have been on before. Quite why Michael Hurll thought the gaffe-prone Master Bates was a good choice to host a live show I don't know - maybe he thought the inevitable cock-ups would be entertaining for the viewers! The appearance of Kenny at the end was amusing, particularly when he thought (incorrectly), that Bates was challenging him over the "ingreasyarse" comment. I'm sure many viewers were left wishing Kenny had hosted the show instead...

    I don't know if Terry Hall had upset our host, as he completely ignored him in the FB3 interview and didn't even mention his name. Still, interesting to see this slightly dystopian video, which fits the atmosphere of the song pretty well. Pluto's song was pleasant but disposable reggae-lite, though he did at least seem pleased to be there. The usual predictable latino crooning from Julio, though the prominent featuring of mirrors in the video reminded me that Flock of Seagulls' excellent I Ran (So Far Away) was released around this time, with its memorable hall of mirrors promo. Inexplicably, despite being an international hit it only got to 43 at home, and I don't think it ever featured on TOTP.

    Haircut 100 are back for the 833rd time, and Nick appears to be dressed for a fishing expedition this week. Did they take the stage in Nottingham later that evening in the same outfits, I wonder? Billy Mackenzie looked to me as if he might be auditioning to play one of the French Resistance in 'Allo 'Allo, which started in 1982. I wasn't so keen on Martha's outfit this time, as it made her less alluring, though I'd still far rather watch her than the Gurvitz brothers! I wonder if Barry Gibb lookalike and soundalike Paul was miffed that Adrian got sole credit for this, when his vocals are so prominent on the record? As for the Tight Fit video - nice jungle, shame about the lion and the gorilla. At least they had a real monkey, who I'm sure was forever afterwards embarrassed about his participation...

    1. The gorilla outfit was poor, you could see gaps underneath the armpits like the stitching was coming undone.

    2. if haircut 100 were really doing a gig halfway across the country leter that evening, then surely they should have opened this "live" show to give them a bit more time to get there? but even if they had, it would have probably have taken them at least a couple of hours to get from a london studio to a nottingham stage - even if they had their own lear jet on standby! and of course most gigs usually started around the same time as this totp broadcast, so either they played a lot later than was usual... or this wasn't actually a "live" broadcast at all, but filmed earlier on!!

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  13. Next time the Master Of Slime is on, how about a game of Master Bates Bingo?

    Looks at watch - check

    Makes needless reference to the time - check

    Tells us to listen to the song - check

    Makes wildly incorrect prediction about the future success of an act - check

    Gets his facts wrong - check, check, check

    Completely screws up the chart countdown - check

    Hasn't a bloody clue which band member he's talking to - check

    The first to complete their cards wins a best of Our Tune 3" cd single

    1. nice one steve, but you omitted "babbling mindless and irrelevant nonsense in the cocksure belief that his smooth voice will cover up his ignorance"!

    2. has anyone ever played "car boot bingo"? i know this is going back a few years, but some "checks" would be:

      * a jim reeves LP
      * a spice girls CD album
      * a bewitched CD single
      * a "the full monty" video
      * a "charlie's angels" dvd
      * a sagging wallpaper paste table
      * a box of albums with the majority facing the wrong way around

      can anyone add to that?

    3. Apologies Wilberforce, that one was so obvious we'd all be able to mark it off within seconds of the show starting!

      I'd add a Dido CD and Hearsay CD single to the car boot list.

    4. Talking of bingo, does anyone on this forum remember a Northern Irish boy band called Rosetta Stone? Most notable for including ex-Bay City Roller Ian Mitchell, they enjoyed enormous success in Japan for a short period. Their album 'Rock Pictures', issued on the long gone Private Stock label in '78, reached No.1 in the land of the rising sun - but failed to chart in Britain, as did all their singles and subsequent albums.

      Eight years later, at an arcade in Southport where bingo sessions were held in the afternoon, one of the prizes was...a copy of 'Rock Pictures'! By that time, there was an English goth band called Rosetta Stone making waves on the live circuit, so any goth who had won that LP as a prize would have been perplexed by its contents!

      CDs by The Spice Girls, B*Witched, Dido and Hear'Say are also commonplace in charity shops - but I recently spotted a copy of Adele's '21' on sale at one of those shops in my home town. Past her peak already? I hope not, as I would dearly love her to record Benny Gallagher's solo acoustic jazz composition, 'My Heart and I', which can be found on YT.

    5. Maybe it was a case of someone buying the album because it was so popular and finding it wasn't to their taste.

      Wasn't Oasis's Be Here Now a charity stop staple a few years ago? I don't think I've played my copy since the year it came out.

    6. And extra points in Bates Bingo if you spot him saying a song's gone up in the charts when the caption says it gone down.

    7. He also said "Here's Depeche Mode's new single" and I was expecting The meaning Of Love but it was See You again, which of course was released two months earlier.

      And Car boot bingo - add Friends videos or DVDs, Alan Sugar biogs and endless cookery books.

    8. At least Slimey didn't call them Depechay Mode for a change.

      If Bates Bingo was a drinking game everyone would be sloshed by the time he does his first time check.

    9. I remember Danny Baker saying for a long while that Leo Sayer's Endless Flight was the most "gifted" LP to charity shops. No wonder with a cover like that.

    10. has anyone here heard about the fact that you can recognise the paul young "no parlez" album in charity shop or car-boot crates just seeing the top spine of the sleeve? well, the other day before i looked through such a crate, i recognised a copy that was in it sideways as the pattern is equally distinctive!

  14. I'll watch the show over the weekend, but for now I'll give a show reference and a personal reference.

    Pluto Shervington had a minor hit between "Dat" and, er, dis - his first record label Trojan re-released his inaugural single, another humorous track called "Ram Goat Liver", which nearly made the top 40. He is/ was a renowned reggae producer and bassist, his best work outside his own over here is probably on Paul Davidson's hit "Midnight Rider".

    And the personal remark? After 45 years of looking at it every week, I decided today would be the last time I checked the latest singles chart. I no longer know the songs or acts, and I've become disenfranchised by the fact that a 15 week number one (which should feel historic and of substance) was only the UK's biggest physical copy seller for its first three weeks at the top with sales of around 13,000 a week from a population close to 70 million, with its peak place retained for 12 weeks solely through streaming. From 8 to 23 years old, I was the lad who'd write down the chart during my lunch break (when it used to be announced on a Tuesday between 12 and 1 - thank you, Johnnie Walker and Paul Burnette) and pass it round my friends before afternoon classes started. It actually cured my terrible shyness and gained me a reliable and matey reputation. It also shaped my love for music in a way I can't define. In many ways I feel sad about my decision, as if a tiny part of me's passed away, but I realise its time. It feels and sounds daft but, right now, 1982 is my future.

    1. a bit like slimy, it seems pluto had the uncanny ability to look into the future by writing a song called "dat". unfortunately though he picked up on a betamax-style failed technological media format - he should have called his tune "cd-r" instead!

    2. paul davidson's mid-70's hit "midnight rider" was probably the first reggae track i ever heard. i liked it then and it still sounds good to me now with it's (unusual for the genre) "once upon a time in the west"-style harmonica and string arrangment:

    3. arthur were you still at school aged 23? seriously, i followed the pop charts with a similar passion in my youth - i remember taking my tiny transistor radio into junior school on tuesdays in the early 70's and finding a quiet spot somewhere at lunchtime so i could listen to the new chart countdown on the johnny walker show (featuring some groovy music that i only later discovered was "time is tight" by booker t & the mg's) on radio 1 (the reception was diabiolical where i lived at the time, but that didn't matter!). and i spent hours poring over editions of "the guinness book of hit singles", which is why i know so many of the chart positions!. but i realised the game was up by the late 90's and haven't followed the charts since. i also stopped reading the serious music mags when i realised i didn't recognise a very ordinary-looking guy on the front cover (most appropriately it turned out to the the coldplay singer). but i have a friend who is even older than me who only stopped reading the NME when earlier this year it was turned into a "free" publication and no longer available on subscription, so you're not alone in being reluctant to let go of what was a golden age. just to show you how out-of-touch i am with the contemporary "music scene" (and proud to be so!), there is a tribute band festival happening where i live this weekend, and when i enquired as to the bill i discovered i'd never even heard of one of the bands that were being "tributed"!

    4. I still check the charts sometimes, because I still buy new music and it's interesting to see where, if anywhere, they reach. But I just checked the Top 40 singles, and the best single out at the moment - Go by M83 - is nowhere to be seen. How can the public resist that guitar solo?! Maybe it's because it doesn't have a proper video.

    5. I still keeep an eye on the charts and buy Music Week, primarily so I can include some current chart stuff on the community radio show I do. But increasingly most of the new stuff I play doesn't make the chart (including the last M83 single).

      I've only played the Drake single once since it came out and couldn't tell you what it sounded like. Neither, for that matter, could my music loving 20 year old step son.

    6. I was at Kingston Plytechnic (remember polytechnics?) completing a four year degree course having needed an extra year before to get the right 'A' level grades.

    7. I remember them, mine was Leicester Poly but they changed to a uni the first year I was there.

  15. More cock-ups than a porn video in Slimes’s presenting but at least he seemed enthusiastic and, incredibly, happy to be there.

    The mugshots were particularly interesting this week. Derek had lost the E from his Dominoes, Mike Post was going down but up according to our host, Depeche Mode had slimmed to a trio, Gary Numan looked more like a panda than a chameleon, and who was the woman grabbing the attention of Madness’s Chrissy Boy?

    Annabella was completely unprepared for the start of her song. If he’d still be in charge, I bet Robin Nash would have loved her pelmet – er, dress and the guitarist’s singlet.

    A weird yet somehow captivating video for Ted and the boys. Which one’s Lynval and what had he actually recovered from?

    (In Fulton Mackay mode) Fletcher! Where are you? At least you were in the mugshot. Next time, Dave ‘tie outside jacket’ Gahan will wear his pants on top of his trews.

    Pluto’s song got me thinking – is adultery really worthy of a jail sentence in Jamaica?

    Some more awful syrup from Julian Churches, who couldn’t even get his tie straight. Tsk!

    Simes’s “Guess who” intro to haircut 100 reminded me of Noel Edmonds’ “for...him” intro to Paul Nicholas at the start of this re-run. There was actually a chart act called The Guess Who – they made number 19 with “American Woman” / “No Sugar Tonight” in 1970.

    Was The Associates’ banjo player Alan Rankine wearing Aneka-style hair chopsticks? And why was Billy so engrossed with the monitor? Next week he’ll be roller skating downhill and over a bollard.

    What’s at number 11? The song above Adrian Gurvitz, who forgot himself and sheepishly smiled at the start. See Adrian wear the oh-so-80’s combination of shirt and tie exactly the same colour.

    Tight Fit’s crap lion looked drugged, not asleep. And how they get that settee in the jungle? I saw this vid and immediately thought of Haircut 100’s recent effort.

    When Simes kissed Sid Snot, I hope there were no tongues.

    1. The Guess Who featured Randy Bachman, who later went on to form Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

    2. who of course did smashie and nicey's theme tune!

    3. Talking of Smashy and Nicey. Did anyone see the Talking Pictures channel last week, they showed several episodes of a 1979 chat show called Tell Me another featuring among others DLT. The guy who introduced one episode said "the show includes DLT, you know old Smashy and Nicey". Amazing! What a shame Talking Pictures aren't showing old TOTP! But they are showing some old '60s pop films soon including Gonks Go Beat and Dateline Diamonds.

    4. I have noticed that Noel Edmonds (or at least someone who appears to be him) makes occasional postings on another forum, and he was claiming recently that, according to his sources at the Beeb, DLT's shows might be restored to the reruns if they carry on into 1983, as his suspended sentence will have expired by then. I certainly hope that's true, but I have my doubts...

      Re Smashie and Nicey, was there any real-life DJ who had a predilection for You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet?

    5. i've seen both "gonks go beat" and "dateline diamonds" in recent times. the former (in glorious colour) is an absurd fantasy where beat bands (including the graham bond organisation featuring jack bruce and ginger baker of cream fame) take on balladeers (including a teenaged-version of that guy who played a nurse in "casualty" for many years). the latter was a bit more serious adventure yarn (in grainy black and white) where the small faces were used as an unwitting front for smuggling diamonds by their nefarious manager (and no, i don't mean don arden!). both these cheap 'n' cheerful cash-ins on the 60's pop scene are well-worth a look if you're a fan of the era, and by coincidence both star a guy called kenneth who appeared in more tham one "carry on" film (respectively connor and cope)!

    6. Don't forget another "Kenneth", Kenny Everett is in Dateline Diamonds too. Bloodbath at the House of Death was his big starring role, however, how I longed to see that as a kid. Caught up with its DVD release and it was... OK.

  16. Courtesy of the 45cat website, I've sort of unravelled the 'seven years earlier' comment by Slimes about our mate Leighton 'Pluto' Shervington. "Your Honour" was originally released over here on no less than CBS in 1976.

    1. But that was only six years earlier. Perhaps he was getting mixed up with Seven Tears by the Goombay Dance Band.

  17. Sorry about this sudden Pluto fixation (it's a passing phase, honest!) but, thinking about it, his three UK chart entries all had rather rum subject matters –

    “Dat” – a Rastafarian decides to buy pork, against his religion, rather than other expensive meat so he has money left over to buy some marijuana.

    “Ram Goat Liver” – a man joins in eating a goat killed by a bus and the cooked meal gives him the squits.

    “Your Honour” – a philanderer gets caught, goes to jail and ends up asking the prison guard to bring his mum or sister over for, erm, a visit.

    1. Is this the place to ask, if Pluto was the Disney dog, what was Goofy supposed to be, then? I can't think of any reggae artists called Goofy, mind you.

    2. according to wiki, goofy is an anthropomorphic dog. but why disney chose to have both him and pluto is a bit questionable - why couldn't one of them had been a cat or something?

    3. Goofy was originally known as Dippy Dawg. I'm not sure why Disney decided to have two cartoon dogs, but I suppose the characters are very different so there was room for both. I do remember seeing Figaro the cat - originally from Pinocchio - in a few animated shorts with Minnie Mouse when I was a kid, but Figaro never obtained Goofy/Pluto icon status!

  18. A bit off-topic, but I have to ask: has Dory seen Finding Dory yet? It's released this weekend! Any verdict? No spoilers please, I haven't seen it myself yet.

    1. Lol THX, thanks for thinking of me. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm going to see it this weekend. It might require its own blog on here if it is to be popular enough.

  19. Another mixed bag of an episode. Thumbs up for Bow Wow Wow, FB3/Bananarama, Haircut 100, Depeche Mode. Thumbs down for Julio Iglesias, Pluto, Adrian Gurvitz, Tight Fit and Simon Bates. Now I'm on the fence with The Associates... the sound is great, they look the part and Billy McKenzie definitely has a 'star quality' about him. But it's let down by the singing/shrieking/wailing when he opens his mouth. Sorry folks I've tried for years to get Billy's singing but its just not happening.
    Checking my diary from the time I went to see Haircut 100 the previous Friday to this episode. Not expecting too much as they were a new band I was blown away with the gig - song after song of catchy, well-played numbers which of course was pretty much the Pelican West album. I also remember a young chap stood next to me who was the spitting image of Nick Heyward - perhaps he had a younger brother. Other superb gigs around that time I remember were Depeche Mode (twice, the one with Vince was better), New Order (just experimenting with their Blue Monday sound), Pigbag, Level 42 and The Jam. Less notable (i.e. crap) were Altered Images and John Martin.

    1. John Martin had a reputation for being a very violent man, in contrast to his laidback guitar techniques. Maybe it was the drink that made him crap? What I'm saying is, it's lucky for you he's dead or he'd come after you!

    2. wellieman would probably easily outrun john martyn even if he were still alive, thanks to having one of his legs amputated as a likely legacy of being a boozehound!

      by the way, i strongly recommend this track by him (although like pluto's "dat", the lyrical subject matter is a bit dubious):

    3. Just to even things up, as you might have guessed from my musical tastes I was dragged to see John Martyn by a mate who thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.

    4. Danny Baker was a good friend and a big fan of John Martyn. On the day he died Danny played nothing but John Martyn records on his Radio London show.