Thursday, 25 August 2016

My Top of the Pops Never Lies

Do I see an avalanche of Team GB medals spinning and flying across my tv screen tonight? ~ or is it the return of Top of the Pops 1982!

So Garth, which one of us will still have a tv career in 2016?



25-3-82: Presenters: Peter Powell & Garth Crooks


(41) ALTERED IMAGES – See Those Eyes
Under starters orders and its Altered Images who get away first this week with a tune that would race all the way to number 11.

(3) JULIO IGLESIAS – Quiereme Mucho (Yours) (video)
This frey bentos ballad was now at its chart peak, thankfully.

(33) BUCKS FIZZ – My Camera Never Lies
The boys are dressed for a wedding but the girls look ready for the beach! And how do you follow up at number one as good as The Land of Make Believe? Well, with a number one as good as My Camera Never Lies, that's how!

(28) FOSTER & ALLEN – A Bunch Of Thyme
Edited out of tonight's 7.30pm slot. Shame...

(44) THE BOOMTOWN RATS – House On Fire
Also edited out of tonight's 7.30pm slot was this final top 30 hit for the Boomtown Rats.

(26) THE NOLANS – Don’t Love Me Too Hard (video)
And this completes a trio of Irish acts edited out of the early showing!

(43) KILLING JOKE – Empire Song
Even with the help of Jacques Cousteau on keyboards, Empire Song could rise no higher in the charts.

(22) PLUTO – Your Honour ®
Does anybody remember this song from the time? Soon to peak at number 19.

(14) CHAS & DAVE – Ain’t No Pleasing You (video)
Looking all dapper in their white dinner jackets and tidy trims, and featured on video no less, here's the rockney boys' with their greatest moment, and it took last year's Eurovision winners to prevent this one from going all the way to number one.

(1) GOOMBAY DANCE BAND – Seven Tears
First of three weeks at number one for the German fire eaters.

(9) THE ASSOCIATES – Party Fears Two (crowd dancing) (and credits)
Now at its chart peak.


Next weeks then it's April 1st 1982 hosted by John Peel.

51 comments:

  1. I certainly remember "Your Honour" from the time. Intriguingly, the 45cat website shows a picture sleeve of an unsuccessful re-issue follow-up with Pluto appearing to wear the same gear as for his TOTP appearance. I wonder - while he was over here from Florida, did Pluto go for the photo-shoot in the clobber first, or TOTP first, or did the record company get permission to use one of those celebrated 'behind the scenes' mugshot photos taken at the Beeb?

    PS - Chas and Dave. Superb song, deserving of the chart summit. Much more so than that bloody fire eater.

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  2. Must admit I had no idea who Pete's co-host is, but I don't follow football. They were about of equal ability, but kudos for mentioning Powell's Shape Up and Dance LP (or whatever it was called).

    Anyway, on with the music, and Altered Images with Clare no longer barging into her bandmates, resplendent in co-ordinated outfit, though can anyone actually hear an accordion on this track?

    Bilingual, suit-fondling Julio Iglesias next, were those Dollar's mirrors he was brooding over?

    Buck(s) Fizz with their catchy as hell tribute to truth in photography, obviously this was before Photoshop. What is it with bowties on this episode? Almost half the blokes are wearing one.

    Foster and Allen providing one of those crunching gear changes TOTP did so well (there's another one coming up). Seems to drag on for about an hour, this, same brief tune repeated over and over. Most boring ever Zoo dance routine in the background, too.

    No recollection of this Boomtown Rats single, no wonder, it's mediocre cod reggae, maybe they should never have gotten rid of the pyjamas?

    The Nolans, not sure of the concept behind this video, they seem to be interested in being courted until they notice the names of their suitors on the telegram or card. But a bland effort melody-wise, they'd never hang on to the limelight with ditties like this.

    Killing Joke, here's that second crunching gear change, they had some terrific singles before the fear of the impending apocalypse put paid to them (not joking), though maybe this wasn't one of them. It has power, certainly, but not quite as epic as they could sound. Nice to see the keyboard player from Space was getting more work.

    Then a repeat of Pluto, with what I've noticed looks like Bobby Ball (sans braces) in the background.

    After that Chas and Dave proved they were no novelty song practitioners, with their cross between a Cockney knees-up and a Barry White ballad. Bitter lyrics, sweeping strings, a real diamond in the rough, might be the best thing on the show.

    Lastly, still threatening to set off the sprinklers, it's The Goombay Dance Band, although if they really were a dance band their shuffle from one foot to the other wasn't exactly impressive.

    OK, not quite all, we had The Associates to finish on for an episode that embodies the phrase "mixed bag".

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    1. I did enjoy the Altered Images opener on the show, and Clare's summer wardrobe on display. Well I guess it was now British summertime two days after the show went out in 1982, and the thought of changing the clocks on the weekend immediately following this show in 1982, was call for the summer dresses to come out, and boy did clare look great in it. Oh, and the song was good too!

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    2. Powell did an exercise LP? Good God...

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    3. Altered Images guitarist Tony McDaid's use of an accordion to mime the synthesiser licks was his equivalent of XTC guitarist Dave Gregory's trombone "playing" in 'Sgt Rock Is Going To Help Me'.

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    4. someone here was asking how tall (or rather how short) peter powell was while back - well he and garth seemed about the same height, and according to wikipedia the latter is 5'8". and (as someone who is also that height) i remember that was considered average for men back then. so perhaps pete wasn't such a shortarse as he seemed to be?

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  3. thanks to the olympics (i watched the athletics avidly, but you can keep the rest as far as i'm concerned) it seems like ages since i've watched a show, but of course this one is only a week on from the last one we saw!

    hosts: garth crooks may have gone on to have a long career working for the beeb (even if he's regarded as a bit of a joke by his media colleagues), but here he's plainly more at home on the pitch than in the studio. peter powell should obviously be a bit more sure-footed given he's now a veteran by totp presenting standards, but it's like he feels compelled to be over-protective and cover for his colleague's nervousness ("as garth says, it's bucks fizz" - no pete, garth said it was buck fizz!). i almost laughed out loud in disbelief when he did his frank carson impression!

    altered images: musically probably the best of theirs so far, and clare's best vocal performance too even though her singing style is still a bit annoying. the speccy guy playing (air) accordian looks like he can't believe they're still getting invited on the show. clare's hat throws a shadow over the top half of her face, so ironically we rarely get to "see those eyes"

    buck(s) fizz: another one i haven't heard for yonks - my recall was it was no "land of make believe" but still a relatively-credible follow-up, and so this proves with some good production techniques lifting it out of the ordinary (did their songs always modulate?). i'm not keen on jay's victorian bathing costume though

    foster & allen: after the fureys (and davey arthur, lest we forget) another blip on the synth pop landscape - the only reason i can think of that this drivel became popular at this time was that fellow countryman wigon played it to death on his radio 2 show? never mind a bunch of thyme - without the fast-forward button handy it would be a waste of time!

    boomtown rats: the guy in the shades has departed (i remember reading that because he constantly wore them that his eyes hurt in the sunlight whenever he didn't!), to be replaced by a horn section featuring an enormous saxophone that quite clearly wasn't actually used on the recording. i don't remember this at all and never realised the rats actually went through a cod-reggae phase as opposed to releasing a one-off with "banana republic". to my ears this is far superior to that, and (even though they're a bit late on this particular band wagon) perhaps the best thing they ever did. some nice organ noodling by johnnie fingers, and watch the drummer - he really wants to show off that he's been listening hard to sly dunbar!

    nolans: i've just realised that this is the third irish act on the show in a row (although this lot spent most if not all of their formative years in blighty). yet another song i have no recollection of whatsoever, and another that was pleasantly listenable against my expectations - like the rats, had someone i had a bit more time for recorded this then it might well have become a favourite of mine from that era. this glossy lightly-funky disco effort reminds me of something far more famous that i can't put my finger on, and i'm impressed with the songwriting (it threatens to modulate more than once, and eventually does so later on) and arrangement (other than the cheap-sounding string synth). and the other girls get a chance to shine for a change instead of just backing bernie

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    1. While I was always a Jay Aston gazer on Bucks Fizz, I must admit that Cheryl Baker was looking very good in her red bathing suit, despite not being a fan of hers as much as Miss Aston.

      With regard to the Nolans video, I thought it was very good, and hilarious when the bellboy came in between the girls to disrupt their emotional melancholy of the song and their worry over the person 'loving them too hard'.

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    2. The Boomtown Rats' horn section actually consisted of a bass saxophone and a soprano trombone, both fairly rare instruments.

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    3. well identified on the horns front julie, but i suspect those unusual instruments were chosen merely for show. to my ears it sounded like conventional trumpet and trombone on the recording (perhaps yet another effort by the ubiquitous dick cuthell and rico, who seemed to corner the market for horn sections on british pop recordings in the early 80's?)

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  4. part II:

    killing joke: i had no idea they had appeared on totp prior to having the hit "love like blood" so this was a bit of a surprise. also rather odd to see the drummer "singing", and i had to laugh when the usual frontman jez coleman was "revealed" as a deep sea diver (or was he a spaceman?) who does nothing but mime on keyboards! it was also a bit unsettling watching the others acting rather timidly and apathetically despite the aggressiveness of the music (they reminded me of those guys that filled in for the likes of saxon on the post-strike test show). despite their lack of commercial success killing joke were staples in the weekly music papers, due to their firebrand personalities as much as their music - as i was reminded by reading on wiki, jez had actually decamped to iceland at this point as he was convinced apocolypse was upon us (would iceland have remained unscathed as a result? unlikely i would have said), which explained his unavailability for the show. so very much a bizarre moment in the annals of totp history. musically this doesn't do much for me (the word "backfire" is sung a lot, which is most appropriate in this instance) - unlike "eighties", which i can't recommend highly enough

    chas and dave: i think i preferred their take on "stars on 45" to this pleasantly boring fare. i liked the piano keyboard ties though

    goombay dance band: sadly health and safety officials were not around at the time to put an end to that fire-eating nonsense (notice the black guy's surprise at being handed one of the torches!). nor were the music police around to stop this rubbish ever being recorded

    associates: watch out for the shirley maclaine lookalike in the short fuschia dress (does anyone recognise her? is she a future sleb like whirling dervish michael sundin to the left?), who (unlike those she's surrounded by) has clearly not been brought onto the show for her dancing abilities!

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    1. I couldn't quite get the joke with Killing Joke. I mean they seemed to take a leaf out of Magic Fly's Space from 1977, with the Kendo Nakasaki style helmet on one of the band members. With regard to the song, I thought it was crap.

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    2. I remember reading once that Bill Haley (who died in 1981), became extremely paranoid by the end of his life, probably due to his chronic drinking problem. He was also convinced the apocalypse was imminent, and had the windows of his house painted in preparation for the dreaded event.

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    3. In fairness to Jez Coleman, a war did break out a week after this show, though it was safely confined to the other end of the Atlantic!

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    4. Is the dancer Carrie Grant (Carrie Gray at the time), she is supposed to be a dancer/cheerleader on some of these 1982 shows.

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  5. Shakey Shakerson26 August 2016 at 02:38

    Remember back in the 80s when Top Of The Pops was at the cutting edge of popular music ? When it was chock full of all the current trends - New Romanticism, Punk, Electronica, Ska, even NWOBHM for gawds sake? Halcyon days my friends. Halcyon.

    Meanwhile, grab your coat and come back with me to the mid seventies for this peculiarily awful edition which is rammed to the gills with groaningly,achingly, middle-of-the-roadingly, chicken-in-a-basket, Seaside Special, nans and granddads nodding approvingly while cramming another Werthers Original into their gobs nonsense.

    Having seen the line-up for tonight, the entire Radio 1 roster went down with a stomach bug, leaving Ol' Smiley Face alone to man the barricades. To keep him company Michael Hurrrlll does exactly what Glenn Hoddle would later go on to do - pick an injured Spurs player when there were much better options out there. The alarmingly incompetent Garth Crooks is that man. Astonishingly he is still on TV to this day and astonishingly he hasn't improved.

    Anyway the show. Altered Images are up first and the 'little-girl-vocal-over-jangy-guitar' schtick is starting to lose its sheen. Miss Grogan is still a gorgeous little pixie but the tune is second rate at best. I wonder if she watched Crooks on this show and thought 'I could do better than that'?

    Julio on vid again and then- according to Crooks- 'Buck Fizz'. Another decent pop outing this one, although the boys' verses are a bit too breathy, lightweight and back-in-the-mix for me. Oh, and the dance 'routine' was atrocious and the costumes were horrendous too. A bit more thought needed in the staging, please.

    Jesus Feckin Christ! Irish folk music is appalling, maudlin, religion-specked guff. And this is a prime example. Four years after punk music and we're buying this? Squint your eyes and it looks like a Two Ronnies sketch. Dross.

    Boomtown Rats. Only vague memories of this one - chiefly the '...and me we get on like just like that' lines. Its half a decent idea, but probably should have stayed on their album.

    The Nolans - 'Dont Push Me Too Hard'. Another lightweight mom and dad disco song, breathy vocals, innuendo-ridden lyrics and only the slighest proximity to a tune.

    Hurray! Something from the 80s!
    Booooo! It's the godawful Killing Joke.

    Chas & Dave.Normally this would have come as a nice change of pace from all that glam New Romantic and Synth stuff. But here it gets losy amidst a sea of cloyingly similar piffle. Its a decent song (and their best) but even in the eighties it sounded dated.

    And still at number one its The Godawful Dance Band.

    We're gonna play out with Party Fears Two. This should be interesting. Lets see how the poseurs dance to this....Terribly, as it happens. The two guys are just busting out their patented moves with no thought to matching to the beat or rythmn of the song.

    Finally the song fades, the screen goes dark and we are clear.

    A horrible,horrible show. Bucks Fizz, Chas & Dave and The Asociates were the only decent tunes - 4.

    Crooks has no charisma, no experience,an annnoying speaking voice and - like all footballers apart from Leighton Baines- no taste in music. He gets 3.

    Which is still 1 more than Powell - 2.

    Now excuse me while I try to remember where I parked my De Lorean

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    1. Julio Doubleglazias does indeed refer to Fray Bentos on at least a couple of occasions on this song, as I was curious following Angelo's summary on this.

      The Boomtown Rats I thought were copying UB40 very well on this track, in all manner of the word, from the sax section to the movements of the band members, and also the general rhythm of the song. If someone were blindfolded or this was part of a pub quiz, and would need to hazard a guess as to who were singing, you could have excused the majority for thinking it was UB40.

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    2. Chelsea and Scotland winger Pat Nevin, one of the more arty and certainly articulate footballers, had an intriguing taste for indie music including, if memory serves me right, a band called Crispy Ambulance!

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    3. Crispy Ambulance were immortalised in the Half Man Half Biscuit song Running Order Squabble Fest... I won't spoil the joke if you haven't heard it. The lyrics also mention Chas and Dave, in a neat coincidence.

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    4. in the early 90's myself and a chum attended a concert somewhere in north london that acted as a launch for the classical music branch of factory records, and pat nevin (wearing an appropriate raincoat for the occasion) and his girlfriend were in the seats in front of ours. there was no sign of gazza there though...

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  6. Garth Crooks was a fairly decent choice of presenter and helped the BBC in terms of diversity. Were there any black jocks on Radio 1 at that time?

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    1. Maybe Dixie Peach or The Ranking Miss P?

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  7. PS In fact, would Garth have been the first-ever black presenter of TOTP?

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    1. Greg Edwards was the first ever black presenter of Top of the Pops and hosted three (wiped) editions, 07-03-74, 04-04-74 and 18-04-74.

      http://s15.photobucket.com/user/leechm/media/TOTP%20Stuff/TOTP18-4-74_zpse2ed81b7.jpg.html

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  8. I really liked this one! Garth is my favourite on Final Score, perhaps this gave him a taste for TV presenting, although here he made more fluffs than the average TOTP presenter. Altered Images were great, I loved the Nolans video, Killing Joke - no memory of this whatsoever, but I've heard worse.

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  9. Interesting that Chas & Dave had put out the first performance of this as the video rather than appearing in the TOTP studio which they traditionally they seemed to be at one with. The video had touches of the video for Wishing On A Star by Rose Royce in 1978, with the plant pots and white background setting.

    Interesting also that Chas & Dave took an orchestra with them for this video, another surprise I must say. The song seems to hold well, especially complementing well the Elvis Presley new entry in the chart rundown at No.27 with Are You Lonesome tonight. Some good synergies here. Anyway, what had made for the re-release of the 1961 single by Elvis now a generation later in 1982?? Was it in a TV advert or something at the time?

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    1. The Elvis single was the live "laughing" version recorded in 1969 in Las Vegas. It was re-discovered at the this point and was released as a single

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  10. Presumably we have this show to thank - or to blame - for Garth Crooks' long broadcasting career. It seems a bit weird that he was on it at all, given the celebrity co-host idea had been binned more than a year earlier, but maybe someone at the Beeb thought he had potential? I think he does OK actually, one or two understandably nervous stumbles aside, and he is a pretty good match for PP. The latter is on decent form, his copybook only blotted by the Frank Carson impression and his seeming inability to keep his hands off the heads of audience members.

    Clare Grogan appears to have some kind of paper doily on her head, but it can't disguise the fact that this new single is relentlessly ploughing the same musical furrow as the previous two, to diminishing returns. Bucks Fizz were considerably bolder musically at this time, but I don't like My Camera Never Lies very much. It is overproduced, and the vocals are over-processed - in some ways, it sounds like a forerunner of the too-glossy-by-half pop that infests the charts these days. Incidentally, why did Cheryl put on a dress decorated with geese?

    BBC4 clearly don't like the Irish much, if their choice of edits for this show is anything to go by! It's easy to sneer at Foster & Allen, especially in those ludicrous outfits, but I have a soft spot for folk music and this was well performed - it was also worth it for the self-conscious slow dancing of Fairbrass and friends in the background. The Rats are back, complete with enormous sax, but they were now on the slide. Still stuck in a reggae groove, this isn't actually a bad effort, though the lyrics further extend the obsession with Tarzan and jungles that has been a notable feature of the early 1982 music scene.

    The Nolans' video was a bit weird, looking like it was filmed in some kind of garden centre. I detected the influence of ABBA's videos in the sisters' sad poses, but the bellboy looked completely incongruous, and rather annoying too - given the way the girls fondly clipped him round the ear, I wonder if he was a relation? The song itself is OK, but like Altered Images they are breaking no new ground here. Killing Joke naturally provide a big contrast, but after a promising start I thought this degenerated into a shouty mess. As has already been mentioned, nice to see the Space keyboardist back on TOTP!

    It's also nice to see Chas & Dave leave their novelty comfort zone and come up with a decent song for once. This is by far and away the best thing they ever did, even if the cockernee enunciation still grates in parts - I liked the snazzy keyboard ties too. The Goombays then celebrate hitting the top with some hideously loud shirts and another dose of fire-eating (I noticed the male backing singer initially forgot to collect the torch as well), before some rather unremarkable dancing to The Associates concludes an unremarkable edition.

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    1. earlier in their career the nolan sisters and the rest of their family were known as the singing nolans - going by the front sleeve of this album it might have been more appropriate to have been called the breeding nolans!:

      https://www.discogs.com/Singing-Nolans-The-Singing-Nolans/release/771974

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  11. In this mixed bag of a TOTP, the luck of the Irish blessed one act...but deserted two others. Foster and Allen enjoyed the first of a string of MOR hits that would make them firm favourites with mums and dads, but neither The Boomtown Rats nor The Nolans would see the Top 40 again except as part of charity ensembles, respectively Band Aid and The Crowd.

    The Nolans' brand of disco-pop, while still well executed, was now starting to sound predictable. Their next two singles 'Crashing Down' (presumably excluded from playlists because of the Falklands conflict?) and 'Dragonfly' would fail to chart, and the sisters would lose their deal with Epic soon afterwards. Only 9 months after this appearance on TOTP, they would return ingloriously to their cabaret roots with a pitiful cover of The Kids From Fame's 'Starmaker' on Mike Yarwood's ITV Christmas show.

    BTW, the young messenger's uniform in the sisters' video reminds me of the similar powder-blue outfit worn by the late comic actor Malcolm McFee - whom you may remember as Craven from 'Please Sir!' - in his role as an innumerate lift attendant on BBC1's pre-school series 'You and Me'.

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    1. julie, your nolans/falklands comment reminds me of the group massive attack being forced by the system to change their name (to simply massive) during the gulf war - a real case of big brother, and also rather pathetic in my opinion!

      i remember "please sir" all too well as it was possibly the first sitcom i ever saw. apart from clever-dick-with-an-eye-for-the-ladies craven, other (rather superannuated) pupils included eric duffy (the hard man), frankie abbott (the would-be tough guy who was really a mummy's boy), dennis dunstable (a loveable dunce) and maureen (a would-be nun who also had a crush on her teacher mr hedges)

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    2. Split Enz also suffered a radio ban for their single "Six Months in A Leaky Boat" during the Falklands conflict.

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    3. that explains why it sunk without trace

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    4. Obviously the unnecessary deaths and a political hot potato that drags on to this day are the real tragedies of the Falklands War, but I still bear it a grudge for scuppering the chances of that Split Enz single. I heard it on the radio a couple of weeks ago and it still sounded like a fantastic pop tune.

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    5. Julie, you and Morrissey are both Malcolm McFee fans. His song Little Man, What Now is about the actor's appearance on the nostalgia show Looks Familiar where the guests failed to recognise who he was.

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  12. Garth Crooks? I think country star Garth Brooks would have done a better job.

    Clare Grogan sounded too squeaky girly for me, but she looked alluring with that dress and half hat half fascinator headgear. Nice outro kiss to the camera.

    Buck Fizz with “My My Camera Never Lies” according to Garth Croaks (he mis-named a number of acts and songs, so he gets the treatment back), and sounding more like 2 Dollars’ worth. Have a gander at Cheryl’s goosey gear. I was too busy playing countdown with the letters on Jay’s attire – “two from the top” indeed.

    Peter’s intro to Foster and Allen was one of his trademark “Who’s buying this shit?” disguises. Lord knows why he decided to repeat most of the intro after their song, at which point Garth Croaks called them Foster and Hallen. The leprechauns brought back memories of Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s spoof folk duo Mulligan and O’Hare.

    Poor song by The Boomtown Rats, but fair play flying back from Athens for the occasion. Bet they needed a forklift for the sax and a detective to locate the song’s tune.

    A weak tea effort by The Nolans, hindered by the bell hop and that lurgi-riddled scratching parrot.

    Only TOTP would follow them with Killing Joke, complete with huge namecheck backdrop and a beekeeper on keyboards. Bearing in mind the copious use of the word ‘backfire’ in the lyrics, ironic how the appearance backfired and failed to get this testing track a mugshot.

    A very tastefully done video for Chas and Dave, though I though Dave should have had a tie with bass guitars on rather than pianos like Chas’s. They used to be billed for gigs as Chas and Dave with their orchestra, Mick Burt, so they had two orchestras accompanying them here!

    I really wish that Goombay dolt had set his hair alight. Would have made up for that attack on my eardrums.

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    1. Rather Clare's air kiss than Foster and Allen's sleazy wink at the camera.

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    2. At one point Chas and Dave were billed as Chas and Dave with Rockney. I thought Rockney was the drummer,

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    3. Chad and Dave's drummer looked like Jools Holland's dad...

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  13. So who has enjoyed the Olympics? I certainly did, well worth giving us a little 1982 breathing space. Not that this episode was particularly worth waiting for….

    Garth Crooks and PP? Nice combination even if Garth is now better known as a compelling MOTD pundit than a TOTP presenter.

    Altered Images – See those eyes – I always think of ‘see her eyes they are bright tonight’ whenever I see this title and ‘Torch’ this song ain’t. The novelty was wearing off…

    Julio Iglesias – Yours – Baffled how this guy got so high in the charts with his MOTR stuff at the height of 1982? Not as memorable as that other hit…what was it called now…?

    Bucks Fizz – My Camera never lies – Andy Hill and Nicky Martin really pull out all the stops for this wonderful piece of pop and we have the best of all to come next with one of their most underrated songs ever… Cheryl manages to upstage Jay in the outfit stakes on this performance.

    Foster and Allen – A bunch of thyme – Terry Wogan influenced no doubt just like the Fureys and Davey Arthur. Pleasant enough but nothing special.

    Boomtown Rats – House on Fire – My goodness me, I recall the first time I saw the video of ‘I don’t like Mondays’ and the impact it made on me at the time. This had the complete opposite effect. PP loves it obviously.

    Nolans – Don’t love me too hard – A slightly tongue in cheek video from the female quartet but not as tongue in cheek as ‘Attention for me’ which didn’t get a TOTP showing. This was sadly the last Nolans hit as the next single ‘Crashing down’ didn’t crash into the charts.

    Killing Joke – Empire Song – Hmmm don’t remember this and listening I can see why. For me it’s not Cousteau nor the Space guy on keyboards but one of the aliens from the 1970 Dr Who story ‘The Ambassadors of Death’.

    Pluto – Your Honour – I certainly do remember this one from Pluto. I also remember the catchy ‘Dat’ from 1976 which reached no. 6 and the similar follow up ‘Ram Goat Liver’. In fact ‘Your Honour; was released after that in 1976 but did not chart so not sure what prompted the resurgence in 1982?

    Solar system flavoured music chart:-
    I was born to love you – Freddie Mercury
    Venus – Shocking Blue
    Planet Earth – Duran Duran
    Life on Mars? – David Bowie
    Jupiter – Earth, Wind and Fire
    Saturn – Inspiral Carpets
    From the Tearooms of Mars to the hellholes of Uranus – Landscape
    Neptune – Inme
    Dat - Pluto
    ….not forgetting ‘The Dark side of the Moon’

    Chas and Dave – Ain’t no pleasing you – Garth enjoys introducing this one since the chaps kindly let the Spurs team sing on a couple of their hits. This one really is their finest moment. I love the way in this video Chas and Dave are clearly miming but the string players are certainly not, even flicking the music over at one point. The strings really do shine and it’s a great single and the best song on the show.

    Goombay Dance Band – Seven Tears – Three weeks at number one for this admittedly catchy song notwithstanding the fire eating novelty. Almost a one hit wonder save for ‘Sun of Jamaica’ which crept to no.50 but I don’t recall it.

    Associates – Party fears two – I said at the time that the guy couldn’t sing, or if he could he did a damn good impression of someone who couldn’t. Sorry, still almost unlistenable to me. The audience dance on nevertheless.

    Dorey – re the Elvis track – it was, I believe the first single release of the famous’ laughing’ version rather than a rerelease.


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    1. I seem to have acquired an extra letter e in my name? Sct353, that long olympics break seems to have worked wonders for you, but thanks for the heads up on this weeks new Elvis chart entry.

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    2. Apologies Dory - can't for the life of me think why I added the 'e'!

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    3. We all needed to take an extra E to sit through some of the stuff on this week's show!

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  14. What did we deserve to be given Garth Crooks as a presenter?
    He's bad enough now and to me embodies the modern ethos of 'if he's played the game, he's good enough to commentate on it'. No, he isn't. He sounds constantly on the verge of apoplexy and has a weird habit of emphasising certain WORDS for NO reason.

    Anyway, back to then when he was marginally less irritating. Unlike Peter Powell who is his usual self. Sadly.

    Altered Images - Not one of their best songs, I'm waiting for 1983 when we get their very best, and Clare actually wears a sexy outfit for once...

    Bucks Fizz - One of those songs that people forget was ever No.1 I think, it's a good one but the performance of it is a bit weird. Kudos for their miming though - with all the overlapping vocals on it, it's not the easiest one to mime!

    Foster & Allen - I have Irish in-laws. Therefore I have heard enough of this kind of garbage to last a lifetime!

    Boomtown Rats - When we were trying to list cod-reggae songs ages ago, how did we forget this? Maybe because it's not that great.

    The Nolans - We want sparkly pop songs, not this dirge, ladies!

    Killing Joke - Mind you, come back - all is forgiven! This is AWFUL. Some bands were unlucky in only getting one big hit while missing out with many others. This band got exactly what they deserved, 'Love Like Blood' being by far the best thing they ever did.
    If that 'spaceman' helmet isn't from Blakes 7 or Doctor Who stock, I'll be amazed!

    Chas & Dave - These days regarded as the very fine pop song that is, which is as it should be as it is truly brilliant. Somehow I'd never seen the video before.

    Goombay Dance Band - I'd actually forgotten that this was at the top for 3 weeks. THREE! Bloody hell, the Mums an Grannies must have bought 10 copies each.

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    1. Killing Joke's Adorations was a fantastic single.

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    2. We really were spoilt for musical excellence at no.1 at this point in time in 1982 weren't we?

      3 weeks of Tight Fit
      3 weeks of the Goombay Dance Band
      1 week of improvement with Bucks Fizz
      3 weeks of Paul and Stevie
      2 weeks of Nicole

      ....with more horrors to come later in the year!

      Arghhhh!!!

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    3. I actually like Nicole's song - that was the first Eurovision that I watched in full so I have a soft spot for it.

      Agreed on the rest though!

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  15. It seems The Nolans’ long player which featured the last two hits and “Crashing Down” was way behind schedule due to touring commitments, and it was completed by the gals each being offered a carrot of £25,000 each to record the vocals through the night to beat the deadline the next day.

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    Replies
    1. Re 'Crashing down'....

      Check this out!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVkvkWE_ao4

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    2. Good Grief! I didn't think the Nolans' single sounded like a hit, but at least it sounded more like a song than that Saturdays attempt!

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  16. Back after hols and now a week behind:

    See Those Eyes. I loved this Altered Images track to bits back in 1982 when I was living in Chalk Farm in North London. I also remember seeing the video which was filmed in Portmeirion in North Wales and was a tribute to The Prisoner.

    Oh no its' Michael Sundin in a red leather jacket and a string vest. Those teeth!

    That Julio video again. Julio has a very strange semi-mullet haircut which almost makes Donald Trump's look normal. When the record went up the charts did they say "...and at number 3 it's Up - Yours!?

    Garth Crook, sorry Crooks introduces Buck Fizz. Oh yes My Camera-ra Never Lies. So much to love here from the girls' Edwardian bathing beauty outfits (or are they Came-rara skirts?) to the boys in bow ties, the beautiful vocal harmonies which never let up, even in the instrumental break. I wouldn't have admitted it at the time but this is superb.

    Next up Mulligan and O'Hare, sorry, Foster and Allan. This was too twee for its own good, a nice tune but spoiled by the singers' self consciously cheesy traditional outfits. The dancers who are forced to half-skip, half-dance to this, look suitably embarrassed even Mr Fairbrass who would seemingly do anything for money.

    The Rats still on a reggae vibe. This is actually better than I remember it being utilising a 60s classic reggae rhythm with Bob's half-grunted vocals. The crowd seem to like it but it didn't get far in the charts.

    The Nolans in a bar drinking what looks like fabric conditioner and singing, rather cheekily, about being loved too hard. Oo er! It looks like Russell Tovey delivering the flowers but it can't be as he isn't old enough. This sounds like a 1970s Barry White song with new vocals.

    Killing Joke with Jaz Coleman hiding his unibrow with help of a beekeepers outfit. This was a lot better than I expected it to be, I liked love Like Blood a lot but I always thought their early stuff was unlistenable but this proved otherwise.

    A repeat from Pluto with the annoyingly animated crowd who were all standing/dancing reallycloselytogether.

    Chas and Dave on video, who's have thought. This was an unexpected surprise at the time. My mum and dad loved it, my nan loved it, I loved it. A classic!

    The Goombay's make the most of their time in the spotlight with new outfits but retain the gimmicky fire eating routine.

    Play out with The Associates which isn't really a dance tune in the accepted sense but the cheerleaders make the most of it. Michael Sundin is joined by a host of other dancers including a bloke with bleached blond hair and shocking pink trousers but there's no sign of Fairbrass, until near the end when he gets tired of all the others hogging the limelite and starts showing off at the back. What a grade 1 plonker.

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